MAMA! They are stuck in the tree!!!!

from phone and cam 059, originally uploaded by sweetrattle.

Right before a rain shower came in, the wind was blowing and that's what I hear! I rush outside to find they were playing. I sent the oldest in for the camera, and started snapping pictures as the kids climbed down. Big brother helped these two, but mama was standing by just in case.

I've always wanted to be a princess. What girl doesn't? I was kidding around with N a few weeks ago and mentioned it. I'd had a rough time, and he was MIA for several days, but when things came together he called me Princess. It was out of the blue, and I really hadn't thought that he'd listened. I told him about the book The Five Love Languages. I've not read the entire book, but it is pretty neat. So basically I told him that my love language is words of affirmation, and we figured out that his is touch. So after that really bad week, and he called me Princess and told me that he missed me, I cried.

Today I've been listening to the Fly Show. There is a lot of talk about loving yourself. One thing that Leanne said that really stuck with me today, is that I am the daughter of a King!!!! I am a princess!!!! I am not in my castle yet, but my home awaits me. I will serve my King until it is time for me to go home. Why shouldn't I love myself as much as my King does? If I am worthy of being loved by my King, why can't I love myself? I'm not saying I hate myself, but sometimes I just really need that extra hug, or pick me up.

Now I just need to find ways to love myself. I'm a princess, so who doesn't love being a princess. Maybe I should make my own tiara so that I can pretend while I'm at home. I think that I'm mostly worried now about if other's love me. If I don't change my "stinkin thinkin" I will never be able to show my kids how to love themselves.

Mission: I'm going to remember to do something special for me every single day! I will put a sticker, or something to mark it on my calendar and report back here about my progress.

Birthday List

My son now has a list written.

 

• Ipod Shuffle
  
• GoCart
  
• Clark Wallabees
  
• Pellet Gun
  
• And possible money to take to the mall
  
  
  

This is the kid that wanted a baby goat, and a double barrel shot gun for Christmas last year. Boy has he changed. He'll be 8 November 2^nd. I can't believe my babies are growing up.

Holiday Time

Today I have been contemplating the holidays. We have 3 birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas coming up soon. Halloween is in order so far. My son's birthday is still up in the air. He's the kid that wanted a baby goat for Christmas a few years ago, and gave back the game boy and all the games that he received. I'm sure that we will be at my mom's for Thanksgiving, but I need to come up with something to cook for that day. Then there is my birthday, which is my 29^th. Told my friends that I want a big party, because its my last birthday ever. Then Mom's birthday, I should do something special for her, but I know that I will be super busy. FlyLady is helping get me on my way with her "Cruising Through the Holidays" Between all of this I have school, and a computer that's just not working correctly. How I wish that I could just snap my fingers and it would be done. Today I'm having enough problems with just getting my hair dry and fixed.

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday season, and I'll update you on how mine goes along the way.

Sometimes I Wonder...


Who my person is. Looks like I've ran out of best friends. When things go wrong, the person who I like to run to, has changed a few times over the years. After talking to someone that I want to be close to today, looks like they could care less what's going on with me right now.

On another note, I know that he read the last post. I think he liked it, but I'm a big confused about a few things with him. This isn't new for me.

Today I stayed home. I haven't been sleeping well, and last night my tummy hurt sooo bad. It feels better now, but not great. I just basically slept all day. I did accomplish finishing 1 load of clothes, my sheets are drying now, and one load to go into the dryer. I got my pots and pans cabinet cleaned out.

Who are you? I have erased everyone, and still don't know who you are that's checking out my blog. Lemme know.

Patience Pays Off


It is one week later, and I've already gotten 4 phone calls from the same guy this morning. The decision not to chase, and sticking with it may have paid off. I'm sure he'll read this now, and think I'm crazy, but I'm not sure that I care. If you do read this, please don't be offended.

A little history about this guy and myself. We met a few months back online, and talked on yahoo a time or two. I got the impression that he wasn't interested in the slightest, and work was his main objective. He seemed mostly elusive. So I get an email from him a few days ago. I told him basically that I didn't think he was interested before, and why email me again. Not sure if he forgot about me or what. This time he has assured me that he is interested, and from the phone calls I think that may be true. I guess I was a bit elusive at first this time, because of past events, but I eventually had the time to return one of many missed calls yesterday afternoon. I'm glad that I did.

My warning of the day is not to rush into anything yet. He's out of town until the end of the month, so I do have some time to get to know him, and get my thoughts straight before a first date. I didn't sleep a lot last night, and apparently he can't sleep today. I'm trying not to read a lot into this yet, but he's a cutie, and very sweet and seems like a nice respectable man.

That's all for now, maybe I'll have an update later on.

PMS.

After this weekend going horribly wrong in some ways and horribly right in others, I chucked it up to some sort of PMS. Although my PMS really should have been 2 weeks ago (which it was) and I should have started Thursday (and didn't) PMS rulled my life this weekend. Then I wake up this morning with my devotion in my mailbox from Proverbs 31 Ministries

Basically the writer had the same problem that I did all weekend, and read a verse that basically told her to take her problems and hand them over to Jesus and walk away. Its like choosing to be well, instead of walking around grumpy. That is all it takes.

This weekend I eventually stopped pouting and thought to myself that if what I'm looking for happens, it will find me. I'm gonna stop looking. It was a light bulb moment. Wait for them to find you, and chase you down....lets see if it works. NO more calling, NO more emails, NO more text messages or IM's. They send me something, sure I'll be nice and reply, but that's it. I deserve friends that deserve me. I deserve not to be left out of the loop until they decide to let me in. I can't fix anyone that doesn't want to be fixed...and they can only ask for advice and I can only give them advice, they have to follow it.

So far today I have my menu finished, dressed to shoes, shopping list ready, and gonna see what I need if anything to make Leanne's Taco seasoning to keep on hand, instead of buying that stuff constantly. Kids will be fed well this week, if all goes to plan. PURPLE TEAM will rule!


By the way, I notice that I have people from all over the world that have checked out my blog. I was amazed. I just wish people would let me know that they are here. But then again, I do the same thing. I stalk the lady from Liquid Paper all the time...maybe I should let her know that! lol!

Tonight I sit here thinking about the good and evil in people. I have always chased after the good in people. I am a seeker. I seek to find the good and show it to many people. Its confirmation for me that there is good out there. Recently it has been brought to my attention that someone that I considered a dear friend is full of evil ways. As I am often reminded, there's only two options God's way or Satan's way. The fight of Good vs. Evil. I believe that there is a constant battle here on earth that is being fought between good and evil. The ones conscious of the battle are fewer than there should be. I sense evil in some people. Sometimes it is too disguised for me to realize what it truly is. As I understand it, everyone is a sinner. We are born with a sinful nature. So shouldn't we believe that all people have "bad" in them, instead of all people have "good" in them. Maybe I'm being too negative, but right now I'm finding bad in those that I thought were good people. It hurts. It hurts really badly. Someone that you've told deepest secrets too, playing for the "other team." But I guess that's why I should be more careful with whom I share intimate details. There is a relationship that I must desolve. I don't do this very often. It always feels like part of my heart has been ripped away, and it leaves a black hole. I guess I should prepare for another hole.

Today wasn't all that special. I worked, came home and fed the kids hot dogs. Of course my oldest wants chili with sauteed onions. So I did that, send the kids to shower, and they took forever. Broke a plate, ds7 tore down the shower curtain, and I sent the other two to the tub in the other bathroom. I finally went to lay down and right when I was about to drift off, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had indigestion. I got up and took something, and went to potty. I came back and grabbed a drink and noticed that I left the stove on. OMG! If I wouldn't have had indigestion the house could have burned down with us asleep! The ways that God keeps us safe are unusual at times, but Glory be to God! My kids are tucked in safely for the night, and I'm on my way back to bed.

P.S. I also forgot to do this journaling....but I was then reminded to count my blessings.

New to Journaling....again

Today was one of those days where I really didn't want to get out of bed, but did anyways. I started out by waking up dd5 and then ds10 and ds7. I came down the hall and to the bathroom off the laundry room. A few minutes later, I realize that Payton needs a shower, and all three kids are still in bed. After a few minutes the house is alive. Kayla can't find the correct clothes to wear, and we end up getting to the bus stop only about 30 seconds before the bus. On the way back home, I'm shaking all over and decided to take a personal day.

Flylady's routines. Basically the morning routine is to shower and get dressed to shoes, breakfast, unload the dishwasher. Simple you say. Well It happened but took a while to do. I did a few more things online, and read a devotion from http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/ I didn't ever get my hair fixed nicely, and ended up taking a long nap.

Morning routine again at 1PM. I felt better after a lot of prayers and and the nap, so I got in the shower again, for another try. I ended up with a cute outfit that I would have never put together on a different day, and had a salad with some talapia that is sooo easy, and I've gotten used to eating on my days off.

Later I picked up the kids, and went to town. The kids really weren't that bad, but dd5 just didn't feel well and was very cranky. After talking to ds10's teacher, we went back to the school to pick up books that he forgot at school. He ended up forgetting a notebook but we didn't go back for that one.

Later on tonight we watched Kid Nation. That show rocks!! I'm now trying to come up with how we can inccorperate this along with Flylady and The House Fairy. I'm not real sure, but the golden star has got to be part of it. Of course I want us to be the Purple Team!!

Part of the devotion today, was to comit to journaling for 30 days. These were the "rules" so to speak about it:

Application Steps: If you don’t already have a journal, make or purchase one. Commit for 30 days to write something in it every day about God. This could be something you thank God for or how you have seen Him revealed in your life or the lives of others that day.Reflections: Name one way the writing of another person has changed your life?What is one of characteristic of God you have learned from reading the Bible?If you were going to write a story about one thing God has done in your life, what would it be?Power Verses:Exodus 34:27-28, “Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Write down these words, for in accordance with these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel.’ Moses was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.” (NIV)Jeremiah 30: 1-2, “This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you.’” (NIV)Isaiah 49:16a, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands …” (NIV)



So here goes:

Reflections for today

I've been trying to persue a new relationship that's more meaningful than most of the ones in my past. I find myself praying for this man a great deal. He has been very busy lately, and I feel like I'm being ignored. Today I realized that he is a very Christ-like man, and I need to have patience. God doesn't give us answers on our timetable. So all of these prayers for a relationship may or may not have been not answered. I am really starting to realize that time really is not the same for everyone including God. I also know that there is nothing that I can't do without God. Depression can only be beat if I work on it God's way. I must have faith in Him to beat this. It was like a magic pill after all the praying today. I took that nap and when I woke up, I was a different person. Its amazing what the grace of God can do. Its like he touched me and started the healing process right then and there. Isn't that awesome!

Love ya. Muah!